Sunday, November 30, 2014

What I Was Thinking As I Fell Out of the Shower

So yesterday I fell out of the shower ... literally fell out of the shower.  First time in 43 years. From shower to floor, the whole debacle probably took all but 2 seconds, but it's truly amazing the number of thoughts that can run through one's mind in two seconds.  Here is a brief glimpse of what I was thinking while falling out of the shower:

  • Whoa, that's slippery.
  • Oh, man. I think I'm falling out of the shower.
  • The toilet is right there.  What if I hit my head on it.
  • What if I literally fall in the toilet?
  • Did I flush?
  • If I didn't flush, I'm going to have to shower again.
  • I'm never going to live this down.
  • If I'm knocked out, please Carol, put clothes on me before the ambulance arrives.
  • I thought this only happened to elderly people.
  • So, this is how people break hips.
  • If I die, I was really hoping to go out another way.
  • I may just have to say to Carol, "I've fallen and I can't get up."
  • I don't think I hit my head on the toilet.
  • What if the shower rod falls on my face?
  • How will I explain any injuries?
  • I'm on the floor.
  • Ouch, that kind of hurt.
  • I think I'm OK.  
  • I can't believe I just fell out of the shower.
The processing speed of the brain truly is amazing and I'm curious as to where this processing ability was when I was taking math classes.  I certainly didn't seem to have it then. Maybe I should have fallen out of my seat more in class. 

Anyway, a large percentage of accidents occur while falling in the bathroom, so if you've ever fallen in the shower, don't feel bad.  You're not alone.  Clumsy people ... UNITE!

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