Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Would you give up a possible $2 million dollars?

This past weekend I spoke on the importance of investing our time in to our most important relationships.  If you're interested, you can watch the video right here.  
After I spoke, someone from our church sent me this article which I thought was such a great encouragement about focusing on our most important relationships.  It's well worth taking 3 minutes to read it.
One Dad's $2 Million Sacrifice for His Daughter
Would you give up a potential $2 million payday to see your daughter graduate from high school?
Professional golfer Phil Mickelson is doing just that.
Because the opening round of the U.S. Open falls on the same day as his oldest daughter’s high school graduation, Phil has announced plans to withdraw from this year’s event.
It’s not the first time Mickelson has chosen family over work.
Back in 1999, Mickelson was competing at the U.S. Open in North Carolina just as his wife, Amy, stayed in their home back in Arizona. She was pregnant at the time – and the baby was due any day.
Mickelson went ahead and competed – but his caddie had a beeper in his pocket. And if Amy alerted him she had gone into labor, Phil would leave North Carolina and head home, even if he was leading the tournament.
Turns out Mickelson didn’t have to leave the U.S. Open that year, because his daughter, Amanda – the same daughter who is graduating this month, was born the day after the U.S Open finished.
Mickelson’s act of devoted love might even be at the expense of his lifelong dream. That’s because the U.S. Open is the only major tournament that the father of three hasn’t won. He’s come in second place six times.
“Phil desperately, desperately wants to win the U.S. Open,” said his wife, Amy, during an interview.
Yet the window of opportunity for Mickelson to win a career Grand Slam is closing. Mickelson is getting older – he’ll be turning 47 on the day of his daughter’s graduation – and the oldest golfer to have won the U.S. Open was 45.
But while Mickelson is convinced he would have a good shot at winning this year’s Open, he’s keeping his family his top priority.
“It really wasn’t much of a decision,” Mickelson explained. “As you look back on life, there are certain things you need to be there for.”
There’s little doubt Amanda is a healthier, better adjusted person for her father’s sense of commitment and sacrifice.
I’ve long talked about the importance of fathers on this blog, on the Focus on the Family Daily Broadcast, and in my book, “The Good Dad.”
Research continues to bear out this truth.
Just this week the Wall St. Journal reported on a study that used an ingenious research design to help prove that insufficient fathering predisposes girls to risky sexual behavior, defined as promiscuity, unprotected sex and sex while intoxicated.
The findings were definitive, explains Dr. Danielle DelPriore, one of the researchers.
“The prolonged presence of a warm and engaged father can buffer girls against early, high-risk sex,” she said. “It’s all about dosage of exposure to dads; the bigger the dose, the more fathering matters—for better and for worse.”
It’s just one way involved fathers can make a very real, very positive difference in their children’s lives.
I’ll be rooting for Phil Mickelson as he continues to compete in future tournaments and hope he gets his U.S. Open championship next year at Shinnecock Hills on Long Island.
But if you ask me, he’s already won the best prize.
by Jim Daly

Monday, May 15, 2017

Childlike

To be “childlike” means to be marked by innocence, trust, and naivety.  I saw this expressed in my 6-year-old on Saturday.  

I ran a 5K that morning.  As I was getting ready for the race, my 6-year-old daughter was convinced that I was going to win.  I was not.  Last year’s winner of this 5K finished somewhere in the area of 17 minutes.  Let’s just say that’s a bit faster than my pace.  So, I knew that it would literally take a miracle for me to win.  My daughter thought I would win simply because I was “daddy.”  Her belief in me was marked by innocence, trust, and naivety.  She was just naïve enough to believe I could do it.  In other words she was expressing a childlike belief in me … her dad.

Is there a situation in your life right now where you need to be childlike with God?  Where do you need to be “marked by innocence and trust” and where do you need to be just naïve enough to believe that God really can make a difference? 

Francis Chan wrote:  “While it is true that we are humans like everyone else, it is also true that we are humans with the Spirit of God dwelling in us.  Yet, whether consciously or not, we essentially say to God, ‘I know You raised Christ from the dead; but the fact is my problems are just too much for You and I need to deal with them by myself.’” 

In this world, my heart is always going to drift toward self-reliance.  That’s “adult-like” … rational, logical, and pragmatic.   Of course we need to be all of those things at times, but not when it comes to faith.  A childlike faith sounds so much more exciting.  Childlike means I have a greater trust in God than I do in myself.  Childlike means that I have a greater belief in God than I do in myself.  Childlike means that it’s more about God than it is about myself.  Childlike means that I believe my heavenly “Daddy” can do absolutely anything … not only because He’s my Daddy, but also because He’s proven Himself more than capable of doing anything.  Childlike means that there’s nothing so big that He can’t do it and nothing so small that He won’t do it.


Lord, grow me up by helping me become more childlike.

Friday, May 12, 2017

Ad-ven-cher

The word “adventure” can be defined as “a bold, usually risky undertaking; hazardous action of uncertain outcome.”  Well, today my wife left for an adventure. Over the next 5 days, she will be in AZ doing a rim-to-rim hike of the Grand Canyon with 4 other ladies from our church.  I have to admit, I’m pretty jealous, but could not be more excited for her and for my two young daughters … not because they’re going.  But, rather because they get to see their mom go.

When my wife (their mom) steps out on an adventure like this, it shows our girls that women are strong.  It shows our girls that adventure is not just for men.  It shows our girls that they can do hard things because they were meant to do hard things.  It shows our girls that their mom is brave and full of life.  It shows our girls that goals can be set and goals can be met and that they can take complete ownership of those things. 

Carol has trained for this.  She has walked up and down stairs with a backpack full of gallons of water.  She has prepared her body, her soul, and her mind.  My girls have watched all of this happen.  They have seen that we’re not entitled to anything and there are some things that we really have to work hard to achieve … and that is a good thing.

Carol will be sleeping outside … on the ground … in a sleeping bag … under the stars.  Seriously, how tough is that!  I love that my girls were asking her questions about that and wondering if she will get cold and wondering if the ground will be hard and wondering if she’ll be getting dirty and asking if her body will be soar.  The answer to all of those questions is “yes” … and yet they are seeing their mom’s willingness to step toward hard things and experience the adventure of a lifetime. I’m so proud of my wife and so excited for my 8 and 6 year-old girls and I cannot wait to see a desire for adventure continue to take shape in their lives. 

Besides talking to my girls about how much Jesus loves them and how much we love them, I regularly say to them that “Yauger girls are pretty, smart, and strong.”  My prayer is that every day they will become more and more grounded in the gospel and that the truth of God’s love for them will inspire them to live new and brave adventures every day. 

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

The Power for Marriage

My wife and I followed the tradition of not seeing each other on the day of the wedding.  So, the moment I first saw Carol as she appeared at the end of the aisle, my breath was taken away.  She was absolutely beautiful and I could not believe that I would soon be married to this amazing woman.  As she started to walk down the aisle, I felt my eyes begin to fill with a watery, salty discharge tears, I think they’re called. As she eventually made her way down the aisle and to my side, those same tears started to roll down my cheek because it was becoming more and more clear to me that there were now a whole lot of women who were going to miss out.   Sorry ladies. 😊  Although I say that jokingly, the truth is the moment I said “yes” to Carol, I was, in essence, saying “no” to every other woman on the planet.

Anyone can fall in love.  Honestly, falling in love is the easy part.  About the only thing it takes to fall in love is a pulse.  Staying in love … that’s a different story.  Love is a choice.  It’s a 24-hours-a-day, seven-days-a-week commitment that says I am going to choose to love you … even if you’re not being lovable … even if things change … even if I change … I am vowing myself to you and I choose to love you from this day forward. A “feeling” would never be strong enough to hold people together through all of the changes in life.  And, that is why marriage is described as a covenant. A covenant says that I’m not only choosing to love who you are today but, forsaking all others, I choose to love the person you are becoming.  A covenant keeps one eye on the present and one eye on the future by choosing to love today and choosing to love tomorrow even though none of us knows what tomorrow holds in store. And, this is important to remember for many reasons, but one of the most important reasons to remember this is simply because people change.  You will not be the same person 5 years from now and neither will your spouse.

I have been married to 8 different women in the last 14 years … and they’ve all been named Carol … Carol as a new bride, Carol as a mother of one child, two children, three children, four children, Carol as a working mom, Carol as a stay-at-home mom, and Carol after a move to Maryland.  And, guess what … she’ll continue to change.  We all do because God’s grace is all about change.  The grace of God accepts us where we are but always does so with the agenda to move us forward.

So the power of marriage is rooted deeply in the commitment to love today and to love tomorrow and by, forsaking all others, there is a willingness to do whatever it takes to help your spouse become who God is calling them to be.  Just as God commits Himself to you, so you commit yourself to your spouse.

If that makes marriage sound like hard work that’s because it is!  If we believe this to be true, we will see every easy opportunity and every hard opportunity to love as a way that God continues to reveal to us our need for Jesus and His grace at work in our life.

I believe that God wants us to be great husbands or great wives, but His greater purpose is to make us more like Jesus and, in so doing, we become the husband or wife He has created us to be. 

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Ten Ways to Help Your Kids Become Indifferent


·      Give them more screen time.  That extra video game time may feel like it’s helping you not to lose your mind, but it’s also keeping your kids from using theirs. Plus, if they’re not in front of a screen, you may actually have to talk to them and ask them about their day.

·      Don’t expect them to rise to the level of your expectations.  Kids were never meant to do hard things, so set the bar really low.  This will build their self-confidence while teaching them that everything in life will be easy.

·      Focus on the outcome rather than the effort. Judge winners by winning and losers by losing.  It’s the American way.  We definitely want to teach our kids to find value in their performance rather than their character.

·      Enforce the rules but do not reinforce the child.  Take every step possible to make sure your kids obey but never take a step toward their heart.  Lecture them, but never talk to them.  Discipline them, but never disciple them.  The good thing about demanding unquestioned obedience is that it typically leads to a lot of questions later in life. 

·      Be a child-centered parent instead of a God-centered parent.  It’s important to drive 150 miles so your kids can be involved in that competition, but it’s not important to drive 10 miles so they can be involved in a church activity especially on a school night.  We have to teach our children about what is important, you know.

·      Be more concerned about their self-improvement instead of their self-denial. This, after all, is what Christianity is all about self-help.  It’s really difficult to help yourself if you’re pre-occupied with denying yourself.  I mean, who has time to help themselves when they’re concerned with helping others?

·      Don’t ask questions about where they’re going and what they’re doing.  You do not want to appear to be too interested in what they’re doing.  This might come across as intrusive and like you actually care.  So, keep your distance and let them have their own way.  As long as you give them what they want, they won’t push back on you.

·      Be more concerned about their behavior than about their heart.  Again, this is probably what Christianity is about behavior modification.  Some say it’s about heart transformation, but it’s a whole lot easier just to tell people what to do and not to do instead of actually getting to the root of why they may be doing it. 

·      Avoid meals together around the table.  You certainly do not want to start your day together with breakfast and then come back together for dinner.  We don’t want our kids to become one of those statistics that says having meals together as a family increases emotional stability and decreases behavioral problems in children.   Who wants that kind of drama?


·      Work long hours and try to be away as much as possible.  No one has ever gotten to the end of their life and wished they had worked more hours.  But, if you keep at it, maybe you’ll be the first.  I’m sure that will feel much better than knowing you left work on time in order to have dinner with your family.

Friday, February 3, 2017

"If I Could Just Get Back to Where I Used to Be"

I was talking to my wife the other day and I found myself frustrated.  I wasn’t frustrated with her, but rather I was frustrated with myself.  We were talking about some things that “used to be” in my life.  It’s been a consistent conversation for the past few months.  During our latest conversation, several times I caught myself saying, “If I could just get back to where I used to be then  

I left the house that day frustrated and unhappy.  While I drove to the office I started to pray. While praying, I felt like God revealed something to me:  If I keep trying to get back to where I used to be, I will never move forward to where I could be.  It may only seem like semantics to you, but it was truly a revelation to me.

The past is a funny thing.  It has a subtle way of keeping me trapped.  I can reflect on it and celebrate what God has done, but if I think about it too much, it slowly begins to wrap its warm embrace around me and does not let me go.

The past can keep us trapped in our hurts and our failures, but surprisingly, it can also keep us trapped in our success and victories. The more I focus on the past, the more steps I will take in that direction and the less steps I will take forward toward the future God has in store.  So, instead of trying to get back to where I used to be, the mindset I've adopted now is to take an honest look at where I am and then, with God’s help, take steps forward toward the new that God can do.

“Forget the things that happened in the past. Do not keep on thinking about them. I am about to do something new. It is beginning to happen even now. Don't you see it coming? I am going to make a way for you to go through the desert. I will make streams of water in the dry and empty land.”
Isaiah 43:19 NIRV 

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Bookend the Day for Your Kids

I firmly believe that the influence I have as a parent is the greatest influence I have as a man.  Never in my life will influence come easier than it does with my children.  It is impossible to over-estimate the importance of my role as a parent because parents are pivotal figures in the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual development of children.

One of the things my wife and I try to do as parents is something we describe as “bookending” our kids.  We want to “bookend” their day with love, smiles, enjoyment, and a sense of security in our home.  So, as best as we can, we try to be there every morning for them greeting them with smiles, sitting down to breakfast together, and sending them off in to their day knowing that they are loved by mom and dad.  And, at night, we try to spend time with them before bed … talking, laughing, and reading … we pray over them, tuck them in, and try to send them off to bed knowing that mom and dad love them.  So, we do our best to “bookend” their day.


As with every part of life, there are ups and downs with this.  Some days it goes amazingly well … other days, not so much.  As parents we always need to rest in the grace of God and remember that His grace enables us to continue on when we'd rather quit and engage when we'd rather walk away.  But, again, influence will never come easier than it does with our kids and, as a dad, I want to leverage every bit of influence I have with my kids in as many ways as I possibly can.  “Bookending” their day is one way to do that.

Blog Archive